June 2012

Something random, this way comes.

I like this one. I like a lot of the boudoir stuff I’ve shot. I just haven’t been posting much of it as I fear judgement. But, not so much anymore. My theory is, If I do what I love, the people that love what I do will find me. The rest can pound sand. 🙂

An old shot, revisited.

I took this shot a couple years ago, shortly after I moved here from Alberta. Never really didn’t do anything with it, thinking that it wasn’t really good enough to do anything with. So, I guess you consider this one salvage, off the cutting room floor.

My parents, my kids, photos, and all that jazz.

People have told me that at times, I can be far too liberal with who I am and what I say and how much information I share on the internet. I’ve never really been much for filters, or using them. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I’ve never held back from sharing who I am with others. Sometimes though, I will admit to sharing a little too much.

The bottom line, is that while I’m aware that this is supposed to a “business” website wherein I advertise myself as a professional photographer, and thus, I’m always supposed to put on this… front, and only show the very BEST side of myself, and I am expected to be the face of the business, the simple truth of it is, I’m not a business. I’m not even sure I WANT to be a business.

Here is what I AM:

I’m a guy, whom from a very young age, had an artists heart, and an artists mind. I saw things in sketches, in perspectives, shades of grey, and I always managed to find something beautiful even in the completely mundane. I’m a guy who grew up frustrated by the fact that I couldn’t draw worth a damn. I looked out from the back seat of my father’s aircraft when I was a kid, at the staggered tops of slightly arched wings of Cessnas flying in formation off the tip of our own wing, and wish that I could freeze THAT moment in time, and share how *I* saw it with the world.

I was cursed with a perspective of the world around me, and no way to capture it. So, it was out of frustration that I threw away everything I’d ever tried to draw, and every medium I’d ever tried to draw it with, swearing to never again touch another tool of art manufacture again.

Years later, I was an an estate sale in Saskatoon, and one of the items up for grab was an complete camera kit, containing a Pentax ME Super, some film and an assortment of lenses. So, on a whim, and an overabundance of impulsiveness, I bought it for $300 bucks. And fell in love with photography.

Now, 7 years later, I am a guy who loves to take pictures. Of everything. Of anything. I have literally hundreds of thousands of photos spread across half a dozen hard drives. Some are great, some are total crap. But they’re mine, and they’re how I see the world. They’re my memories of how and what I see. My kids, my home, the city I live in, the province I call home, the places I’ve been, and things I’ve seen. They’re my history, and I’ve kept almost every single one of them.

I don’t want to be a business, because for me, as soon as it becomes work, as soon as it becomes a job, and as soon as I start shooting for other people, and by other peoples’ standards, and by other people’s expectations, I’m forced to let go of MY vision, and MY perspective. I started this journey as a hobby, and as a way of creating art. ART. Not photographs, not perfectly lit, metered out, by the rules, by the books “you-need-to-be-doing-it-like-I-do,-or-you’re-not-a-REAL-photographer” images that are technically flawless, but have no SOUL, and don’t stand out as unique.

Sure, I admit. I’m never going to be rich, famous, well known, widely published, or financially secure from doing what I do. I refuse to conform, I refuse to do it like THEY do it, and I refuse to give up what *I* love in order to please someone else, or because I need affirmation. I’m really learning to like who I am, and like what I do, and like how I do it. I LIKE that I’m not just like everyone else. I like that I have my own style, my own look and my own identity.

Ultimately, what I hope to find is the people – few as they may be – who ALSO like what I do, and either hire me, or buy my work based on THAT. I want people to hire be because they know I’ll give them something different, something unique. Something that while it may not meet the standards of others, it meets THEIR standards.

So, THAT’S who I am. I’m different. I’m ranty, I’m opinionated, and I’m quirky. I don’t take photographs, I create little pieces of art, the way I see them in my head, the instant I see them. Of people don’t like it, or don’t take me seriously based on that, well. That’s ok.

*EDIT*EDIT*EDIT*EDIT*FACEDESK***… *sigh*

I’ll be back someday. I swear. I won’t be a slave to editing FOREVER..

(Will I?)

Apparently, being out in left field is good for business….?

I hate weddings. I mean, I LOVE weddings, I just hate shooting them. They just don’t fit with my creative style, and I’ve had some pretty awful experiences shooting them. At the end of the day, I just find it to be too much stress, having to be responsible for what’s probably THE most important day in a couple’s lives. There’s no do-overs, no second chances, not room for mistakes, nothing. You have to do it right, and you have to do it right the FIRST time. You have to be technically perfect, have all the lighting just so and able to deal with people who hire you because they love what you do, and the results you get, but then micro manage and question you all day long, because they don’t understand how you get the results that you do. It’s just too much stress for me, and I don’t think it’s fair to let someone hire you to do a job if your heart just isn’t in it.

Then, you take weddings like the one I’ll be shooting tomorrow: Alternative, freedom to be creative and adventurous, try different things, and to step OUTSIDE the box. Do be different, and to create ART, rather than canned, cookie cutter, cliche photos that have been done over, and over and over. A wedding where the bride will be wearing a steampunk mohawk of feathers, leather and brass? Yes please! I’ll take that – two helpings, if you please.

Don’t get me wrong – if I can shoot a wedding, while being true to who I am as a photographer, then I’m in. If I have to pretend to be someone I’m not and run the risk of ruining someone’s big day because I’m only in it to make money, then no thanks.

The wedding I’m shooting tomorrow? I was hired – partly against my will, and under threat of demise – BECAUSE I’m so far out in left field, all by myself. Who would have thought, eh? Someone hiring me because I’m not just like everyone else!

Bazinga, indeed.

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